I’m a massive overthinker and it keeps me awake at night — I asked an expert why and how to relax my mind

Why is it I can spend all day willfully forgetting my phone bill, only to find it the only thing I can think about when I climb into bed?

I'm an overthinker, a problem that's though to effect as many as 73% of us. While most of the time I have my busy brain under control, on some nights my racing thoughts keep me awake for hours.

“Many of us hoping for a good night’s sleep find ourselves lying in bed with a head full of thoughts that refuse to relent," says Dr. Chris Mosunic, Chief Clinical Officer at Calm. "While unwinding from a busy day can be challenging, mindfulness and sleep meditation are great ways to help."

Here, Dr. Mosunic explains why overthinking is a sleep killer and how to use guided meditation to put your racing thoughts to bed — plus my return to a childhood habit that's helping me sleep.

Dr. Chris Mosunic

Calm’s Chief Clinical Officer, Dr. Mosunic, is a licensed clinical psychologist and registered dietitian with expertise in launching, scaling, and managing integrated healthcare organizations. Throughout his career, he has authored numerous scientific publications, clinical programs, and presentations on topics such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), mental health, integrated care, obesity, eating disorders, and substance use disorders.

Why do racing thoughts make it so hard to fall asleep?

“It is a common dilemma,” explains Dr. Mosunic. “You jump into bed physically exhausted and ready for sleep, only to find your mind replaying moments from the day or obsessing over tomorrow’s to-do list.”

These worries can be small, big, or things you haven't thought about in 20 years. Either way, once they've taken hold, they refuse to quieten down.

“Many factors contribute to these nighttime racing thoughts such as life stressors, anxiety, caffeine,” says Dr. Mosunic. He notes that even the “fear of sleeplessness” can keep you awake — that clock-watching feeling when you’re so worried about missing sleep you can't actually sleep.

“Frustratingly, the more we focus on these thoughts, the faster they seem to run. This creates what we call a ‘cycle of rumination,’ where it feels as though your mind is on a hamster wheel you can’t step off of,” he says.

“When your brain is stuck in this loop, it stays in a state of high arousal, making it difficult to transition into deep sleep.”

So how do we leave the hamster wheel and finally get some shut-eye?

“This is where mindfulness exercises are especially powerful," advises Dr. Mosunic. "By using specific tools and techniques, you can pull your mind out of the cycle of ‘what ifs’ and back into the present moment, signaling to your body that it is safe to rest.”

Can guided meditation help you calm racing thoughts?

Dr. Mosunic recommends that those who "struggle to get out of their heads" try guided meditation before bed.

"With this type of mediation, someone talks you through the process, telling you where to place your attention, breathing rhythms, and how to soften into your mind and body," he says.

"In fact, studies show that meditation is a powerful tool to improve sleep quality by lowering heart rate, reducing blood pressure, and releasing neurotransmitters that promote relaxation.”

He also notes guided meditations are a great starting point for newbies. "The structure and support may make it easier for a beginner to relax and unwind,” he explains.

However, my racing thoughts are good at breaking through even the calmest of guided meditations.

I was looking for a different type of meditation, one that allowed me to get as far out of my head as possible... which is how I ended up mentally driving around Los Angeles.

What happened when I tried Sleep Stories?

Sleep Stories are a form of guided meditation that resemble a bedtime story. Rather than focusing inwards — on your body and your breath — they direct your attention outwards, often towards a new landscape.

I used to love a story before bed and while I still enjoy reading as part of my nighttime routine, now that my chosen books are more complex than "The Very Hungry Caterpillar", I've found they aren't always great for shutting down busy brains.

Instead I settled in with Midnight Maps: Los Angeles, read by USC Drama Professor Oliver Mayer. And I found rumbling towards Griffith Observatory in my imagination actually put the brakes on my speeding mind. Here's why:

They take you out of your head

Almost literally — I wasn't in bed, I was traversing the highways of L.A.

By directing my mind outwards, my usual concerns seemed much further away (5,342 miles away, to be precise.) I was able to immerse myself in a different world, without the nagging concern that if I just got out of bed I could put make a start on getting my entire life in order.

Provides familiarity (that's not too familiar)

My journey around L.A. had a hazy, dreamlike quality, partly resulting from the calming tone of Oliver Mayer's voice, but also due to my own relationship with the landscape.

I've never been to L.A., so my map of the area draws heavily from binge watching "The Lincoln Lawyer" (with a touch of "Rebel Without a Cause".)

This makes it easy to return to the Sleep Story when my mind wanders. I don't have to fight to regain an exact scene — or the perfectly timed breathing, something that's been a problem when I've listened to guided meditations — I just conjure up a vague image and let it slowly populate.

Dr. Mosunic notes familiarity is a benefit of the Sleep Stories.

“Some people love listening to the same Sleep Story or meditation each night," he explains. "The familiarity provides comfort and signals to your body that it’s time to rest, making it easier to fall asleep.”

Engages the imagination

Many relaxing sleep hacks, from cognitive shuffling to the military sleep method, require some use of the imagination.

Keeping that part of my mind active with a low stakes task like picturing a California sunset stops me from focusing on racing thoughts.

For that reason, Dr. Mosunic recommends sometimes shaking up your bedtime listening.

“if you notice your mind wandering during a Sleep Story or you’re lying in wait for what happens next, it may be time to switch it up," he says, noting that their are over 500 Sleep Stories in Calm's library.

Other calming tips and tricks to try

If your busy thoughts are driving you away from Los Angeles and right back to your day to day problems, try this calming options instead...

• Reset during the day: "Managing our stress and anxiety during the day through meditation and mindfulness may result in better sleep at night," says Dr. Mosunic. "We’ve found through Calm studies that of people who report using Calm meditations 5x/ week, 73% expressed higher sleep quality."
• Military sleep method: Combining meditative breathing with relaxing imagery, the military sleep method can help you drift off in minutes (although it requires some practice.)
• Constructive worry method: Instead of letting stressful thoughts catch up with you at night, sort them during the day by setting aside time in the evening to write down your troubles.

Follow Tom's Guide on Google News and add us as a preferred source to get our up-to-date news, analysis, and reviews in your feeds.