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Opinion: 70% of Teens Hide Online Behavior from Parents, And How I Feel About It

By - Source: McAfee

Parents beware: secret teen behavior online is on the rise.

It seems a little ironic that a study about teens using the Internet is published while I'm battling a teen over who has control over the Internet. For those who don't have kids, setting boundaries as to where they go and what they read may seem like a dictatorship. For parents, it should be understandable, as we're tasked in molding these children into becoming healthy, responsible citizens. They will be responsible for our lives and for our country when we're unable to do so.

I typically don't take a first-person approach, but this subject strikes home. I was a teen once: I stole girly magazines (hid them in the Bat Cave, no less), I lied to my parents and talked trash about them to other people. I know what it's like to be a teenager -- been there, done it -- and I expect the same rebellion and disrespect from my own offspring. That said, I also try to stay one step ahead to make sure the teen doesn't do anything stupid that might jeopardize the rest of his/her life -- internet activity included.

Security firm McAfee has released the latest edition of its Teen Internet Behavior study (2012), and it's a little alarming. It discloses how teens are not only engaging in risky behaviors, but how they are hiding it from their parents, the latter of which don’t realize they are being fooled. The study also exposes ten ways teens are hiding their online activities from their parents.

"Despite their awareness of online dangers, teens continue to take risks by posting personal information and risky photos online, unbeknownst to parents," McAfee said on Monday. "Many teens are accessing inappropriate online content, despite 73.5-percent of parents whom trust their teens to not access age-inappropriate content online. Specifically 43-percent of teens have accessed simulated violence online, 36-percent have access sexual topics online, and 32-percent have accessed nude content or pornography online."

Based on my experience, teens definitely won't tell you about everything they do online, and McAfee confirms that observation, reporting that nearly "half of parents believe their teens tell them everything they do online and insist they are in control when it comes to monitoring their teen’s online behaviors." In fact, the study reveals that teen deception is on the rise: over 70-percent of teens have found ways to avoid parental monitoring, compared to 2010, where 45-percent of teens have hidden their online behavior from a parent.

Have you checked the history in the browser? Chances are it's either cleared or edited to some degree, as 53-percent of the teens surveyed by McAfee have figured this one out. Have you walked into the room and the teen suddenly switches to another tab? Been there, done that -- 46-percent either switch tabs or close the browser entirely to hide what they're observing. Also on McAfee's top 10 ways teens are fooling parents include hiding or deleting instant messages and videos, using a PC or internet-connected gadget that a parent doesn't check, use private browser modes, create fake social network profiles, create a secret email account and more.

There are numerous tools that help parents monitor and filter what flows in from the Internet. For starters, Verizon Wireless and other carriers offer filtering options that restrict access to internet content based on age. Don't want the child to access the internet via a device? Either don't provide the network password or block the device's MAC address if you can't monitor it. On Windows 7, Microsoft offers Family Safety via Windows Live Essentials that can set access times, filter content, restrict program use, disable downloads and track the teen's Internet travels online.

Unfortunately, not every parent is as distrusting as I am. The internet can be a dangerous place, and allowing teens to run free in a virtual new frontier seemingly run by hackers is just downright insane. "While it is not necessarily surprising that teens are engaging in the same types of rebellious behaviors online that they exhibit offline, it is surprising how disconnected their parents are," says Stanley Holditch, Online Safety Expert for McAfee. "There is a major increase in the number of teens finding ways to hide what they do online from their parents, as compared to the 2010 study. This is a generation that is so comfortable with technology that they are surpassing their parents in understanding and getting away with behaviors that are putting their safety at risk."

Allowing children to do whatever they want online is a huge security risk to your personal data, and a potential legal risk for them. According to McAfee, more teens are participating in dangerous and even illegal activities than ever before. 15-percent of teens have hacked a social network account, 30.7-percent access pirated movies and music, and 8.7-percent have hacked someone’s email online, while less than 15-percent of parents are aware their children are engaging in any of these behaviors.

But there's some hope. 49-percent of McAfee's surveyed parents have wised up and have installed parental controls. 44-percent have obtained social network and email passwords, 27-percent have taken away computer and mobile devices, and 10-percent use location-based devices to keep track of their teens. Yep, guilty of all of the above.

"But there are still some parents so overwhelmed by technology that they are throwing up their hands and hoping for the best," McAfee reports. "In fact, 23-percent of the surveyed parents disclosed that they are not monitoring their children’s online behaviors because they are overwhelmed by technology."

McAfee also discovered that teens spend more time online than their parents think. Foursquare and check-in site usage is dwindling while 4chan and Tumblr are on the rise. Even more, Tumblr is more popular with teen females (40.9%) and 4chan is more popular with teen males (29.8%). It's also easy to subscribe to porn on Tumblr, pumping in adult content ranging from cartoon sex to full-blown offensive photo material in a news feed-like stream.

The firm also reports that teens stalk rather than share: half of the surveyed teens claim their social network time is spent mostly observing others’ activities, rather than actively posting anything, themselves. But when teens DO share, parents need to be aware: 49-percent post "risky" comments on social networks, 16.3-percent of those comments containing information they would not want their parents to know about.

Now here's a shocking note: parents don't think teens look at pornography online. "Only 12-percent of parents think their teen’s access pornography online, when 32-percent of teens have accessed porn intentionally online and 43-percent of them access it on a weekly basis, if not more frequently," McAfee states. "Additionally, 36-percent of teens have accessed sexual topics online, such as STD’s and issues on pregnancy, with more females than males doing so."

Bottom line, the Internet is a privilege, not a right. Teens should be allowed to express themselves, but not to the point where predators come calling or the FBI comes knocking at the front door. Teens are propelled by emotion, not knowledge and experience, especially early on. McAfee even calls Facebook the "new school yard for bullies," pointing out that even the popular social network can be dangerous, hurtful place.

In return for Internet access, parents should require all account user names and passwords -- including all new accounts. I'm aware that many parents and non-parents may not agree with my "restrictive" opinion. That's fine -- I expect a little flaming. But I also suggest that parents read the full McAfee report and then reflect back on their teen's own behavior when surfing the Internet. They may be doing nothing questionable at all, or they could be living a completely different virtual life filled with secret aliases, secret email accounts and secret friends sending who knows what into your teen's eyes.

There are 46 Comments.
Top Comments
  • 33
    evan1715 , June 26, 2012 11:19 PM
    only 32% for porn? i think that should be like 90% lol.
  • 31
    d_kuhn , June 26, 2012 11:13 PM
    Lol... there is almost nothing a child can do on the internet that is as risky as some of the risky behaviors I took part in as a teen - all without that horrible internetz. Saying that teens engage in risky behavior is like saying they breath... it's redundant. I fully expect my kids to get into trouble, and I expect them to try to hide things from me. I'd MUCH rather have them try to hide some nasty comments on facebook or frequent trips to porn sites than a drug habit or dwi ticket. I'd be nervous if they DIDN'T do these things... it's all a part of exploring their increasing freedom. Our job isn't to try to crush any individualtiy out of them by controlling their every thought or action... our job is to keep them safe while they stretch for adulthood. That means keeping an eye on things, smacking them back here and there but expecting that their attempts to hide behavior from us is a normally expected part of being a teen.
  • 22
    K2N hater , June 26, 2012 11:11 PM
    Bet McAfee just made this research to sell a new product.
Other Comments
  • 22
    K2N hater , June 26, 2012 11:11 PM
    Bet McAfee just made this research to sell a new product.
  • 31
    d_kuhn , June 26, 2012 11:13 PM
    Lol... there is almost nothing a child can do on the internet that is as risky as some of the risky behaviors I took part in as a teen - all without that horrible internetz. Saying that teens engage in risky behavior is like saying they breath... it's redundant. I fully expect my kids to get into trouble, and I expect them to try to hide things from me. I'd MUCH rather have them try to hide some nasty comments on facebook or frequent trips to porn sites than a drug habit or dwi ticket. I'd be nervous if they DIDN'T do these things... it's all a part of exploring their increasing freedom. Our job isn't to try to crush any individualtiy out of them by controlling their every thought or action... our job is to keep them safe while they stretch for adulthood. That means keeping an eye on things, smacking them back here and there but expecting that their attempts to hide behavior from us is a normally expected part of being a teen.
  • 33
    evan1715 , June 26, 2012 11:19 PM
    only 32% for porn? i think that should be like 90% lol.
  • 19
    anonymous@guest , June 26, 2012 11:24 PM
    " I'm aware that many parents and non-parents may not agree with my "restrictive" opinion. That's fine -- I expect a little flaming"

    You seem to be implying that not agreeing with you is the same as flaming.
  • 21
    lamorpa , June 26, 2012 11:31 PM
    As a parent, you always have the ability to set the level of lying your teens will do. Have lots of restrictive, mistrustful rules and you can get a lot of lying (and don't fool yourself you won't be able to know in most cases), or openness and empowerment and you'll get less lying. Is it better to shield them from the world (and not let them get any experience in how to deal with it) or experience their learning with them?
  • 19
    anonymous@guest , June 26, 2012 11:31 PM
    my thoughts are you are stupid. Taking it without much reflection that 32% are looking at nude / porn. When so much of adult TV content is focused on sex and the getting of said sex, combine it with the hormones that make man/women give you a happiness drug when you see them, it would take one disinterested or messed up character to not look at them. I would think it odd that my children wouldn't given the opportunity. Hence why you need to talk to them about things like this and why things are portrayed the way they are in the media that is the provider of this, so they don't get bad context and having to spend years working out many assumptions they form based on this viewing.
  • 16
    tlm man , June 26, 2012 11:32 PM
    How is any of this alarming? Teens do things that they don't want their parents to know about, online and offline. I'd wager this has been true since the beginning of time; it's human nature.

    Also, these statistics seem grossly off-base. Only 32% of teens have ever accessed porn but 15% have the skills to hack social networking accounts?? As long as metrics such as these are compiled voluntarily (through surveys), they can never be trusted. If teens are hiding their behavior from their own parents, what makes you think they aren't going to hide it from your studies as well? I can change every single percentage in this article and it would sound just as believable.

    And what's so bad about researching sexual topics online? Would you rather your child actively educate themselves about STDs and pregnancy online or go out into the real world and experience it for themselves firsthand?

    Any self-respecting parent should expect their teen is going to hide things from them, pretending otherwise is just mind-numbingly ignorant. That's the way teens (and humans in general) are, and acting like it's the end of the world and punishing your teen for it is the very reason they hide it from you in the first place.
  • 9
    djscribbles , June 26, 2012 11:34 PM
    evan1715only 32% for porn? i think that should be like 90% lol.


    Teen starts at 13, and includes girls which are a (I presume) less likely to access.



    +1 to D_Kuhn. You can't prevent your kid from making bad choices, because at some point you have to make bad choices, it's how you learn to make good ones. Keep them safe, out of legal trouble, and free of addictions; try to control too much and you are as likely to get the opposite effect of what you are hoping for.
  • -4
    DRosencraft , June 26, 2012 11:41 PM
    It is always a tricky two-way street between protecting a child, and allowing them the freedom to do as they like. I think in general parents nowadays are too lenient on their kids. Parents need to be parents. Kids will do stupid crap not "because they're kids" but because they don't know any better or don't have the requisite common sense. You don't need to suffer through a drug addiction, or a DWI crash, or go to jail, to know you don't want to go through any of that stuff. But kids tend to fall to temptation or bad judgment or peer pressure easier. It's a parent's job to be strict enough to protect their kids from falling into these traps. Parents today seem increasingly inattentive or more concerned with being friends with their kids.

    Part of the problem is socioeconomic condition. A lot of times, kids are at home alone or are free to do whatever after school. They either don't have two adults at home, or their parents are both working, and are tired or disinterested when they get home from work. Whether it was my mom or dad, there as almost always someone home when I was home from school. Our only computer was at a central location in the house or near their bedroom, so that anything we did on it was visible to them. Were there times that it was annoying or whatnot, sure there were. But in the long run me and my siblings were protected against the dangers that existed, and are today no less knowledgeable or functional in society.

    And no, I'm not a parent.
  • 5
    Camikazi , June 26, 2012 11:47 PM
    DjScribblesTeen starts at 13, and includes girls which are a (I presume) less likely to access.

    They have you tricked! Those teen girls are every bit as likely as teen boys to go to porn sites.
  • -3
    jupiter optimus maximus , June 26, 2012 11:56 PM
    I don't know how i compare myself to others, but i do know that a lot of my peers in my high school years watched the strangest things i could never image. They go to dark sites where people get murdered for fun, bestiality, and some other stuff that are so gross. I really couldn't believe that the IT people in my school allowed such viewing on campus. So yes, i wouldn't be surprise that your teenage son watches virus infected immoral websites.
  • 7
    bgaimur , June 27, 2012 12:00 AM
    If this article was intended to make anyone agree with you, start over.
  • 8
    bgaimur , June 27, 2012 12:00 AM
    jupiter optimus maximusI don't know how i compare myself to others, but i do know that a lot of my peers in my high school years watched the strangest things i could never image. They go to dark sites where people get murdered for fun, bestiality, and some other stuff that are so gross. I really couldn't believe that the IT people in my school allowed such viewing on campus. So yes, i wouldn't be surprise that your teenage son watches virus infected immoral websites.


    How did you put morality in the same scope as malicious software? lol
  • -6
    willard , June 27, 2012 12:08 AM
    While my mother had no hope of ever monitoring what I did online (still thinks the difference between a modem and router is that the router is wireless), I'll be very impressed if my future teenagers can hide anything from me on the computer. It's my hardware on my network, and just clearing your browsing history ain't gonna cut it.
  • 9
    anonymous@guest , June 27, 2012 12:10 AM
    sigh.. I had free internet access though my entire life from 11 years old to 25(actual age) and it never happened anything bad, just followed these simple rules:

    never reveal your exact location.
    never tell your full name.
    post in a way that only close friends can understand it
    post photos and content without being paranoid. people masturbate on your bikini photo? you will never know it, so don't care.
    and yes, I think that a system where if teenagers go online and read about sex topics thinks it's wrong it's really a very messed up system, KNOWLEDGE about sex must be given as early as possible, pornography? I was 13 when I watched my first VHS porn that the father of a friend of mine had hidden in its laboratory, then used internet. if you have knowledge you want to have more, if you don't, you start looking for it in any way you may know, and if you get the feeling that what you're doing is wrong you will try to hide it from others. That's how HUMAN MIND WORKS, and it's not limited by teenagers. Why this much fuss about sex, I will never understand it.(ps.. you speak about sex topics in this post, so will you hide it from your children? so there are things you hide from them; in my experience, it has always led to suffering and hurt and stupidity while the world around you knew everything you didn't know.)

  • 8
    unclealek2659 , June 27, 2012 12:17 AM
    you sound like a real asshole dad.
  • 14
    Vorador2 , June 27, 2012 12:47 AM
    Wow, i think the autor of this article is way overprotective. You may say that the internet is a privilege from your point of view, but sure he isn't going to say the same, today's generation has been born with Internet and being connected 24/7, not having internet is a sure way to be ostracized between modern teens.

    And you sound like you're trying to control his every move. And you will probably get the opposite effect of what you're doing.
  • 6
    ptmmac , June 27, 2012 12:51 AM
    It is not easy being a good parent. Setting boundaries is realatively easy. Not killing communication while setting boundaries is hard. No teen wants to hear about sex from their parents. They do need information. Make sure there is some one you trust who can communicate with them. If they do want to talk, don't miss the opportunity to be real.

    I would guess you have at least one daughter. Your wife is certainly the best person to deal with your daughter.
  • 11
    captainvera , June 27, 2012 12:52 AM
    "But there's some hope. 49-percent of McAfee's surveyed parents have wised up and have installed parental controls. 44-percent have obtained social network and email passwords, 27-percent have taken away computer and mobile devices, and 10-percent use location-based devices to keep track of their teens. Yep, guilty of all of the above."

    seriously? this is waaay too much, teens should be able to experience new things and learn about the world... i understand you don't want your kid to take drugs etc, but a talk and a correct attitude and/or some backpack searching once in a while should be enough... Getting their email and social network passwords is taking their freedom nowadays, how would you feel if they kept track of every contact, message, email and phone call you did? i bet you wouldn't be okay with that...

    Also, most of these "risky" behaviors are not risky at all... you need to be pretty dumb to fall for scams on facebook and other social sites, and is looking at porn that bad? most teens do it and before there was the internet there was girl magazines that they stole, getting familiar with sex related issues and "benefits" is a part of growing up. And even piracy... it ain't that bad.. FBI is not going to knock on your door because your teen pirated a movie once, there are teens who do it 24/7 without some basic "hiding" knowledge and never get caught...

    What i do is i don't set restrictions, i had some talks with my teen, i know hes responsible and aware of the risks of the internet. i don't monitor him at all! yes i know he will probably look at porn some day or he will pirate stuff, but so what? he's growing up! and i certainly wouldn't think of monitoring where he is... that is taking is privacy and personal life away from him! I set rules with him, he knows if he brakes them there are consequences... if he respects them long enough he gets more freedom! As simple as that! If you're trying to control everything he does. you will probably get the opposite effect of what you're trying to do.
  • 6
    dalethepcman , June 27, 2012 1:12 AM
    Quote:
    Bottom line, the Internet is a privilege, not a right.

    The world disagrees with you...

    I think the definition of "Risky" is needed to make any sense of this. For me "life threatening" is important, posting a picture of yourself smoking a pot pipe, underage drinking, or showing your boobies, while potentially embarrassing effects you how much in the long run?

    Which president of the United States over the last 20 years has not openly admitted to using drugs when they were a child. If you can do "A little cocaine" and still become president, I don't think posting a picture of you slamming down a Budweiser when your 18 is going to ruin your life.

    Explain the things that can bring physical harm to your children or your property (don't post, "gone to Disneyland for a week with the whole family" or "Parent's left, home alone for the weekend"), and explain that anything posted on the internet (especially facebook) lasts forever.

    That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
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