The brain doesn't come with an off switch, although I could use one at bedtime. My laptop is asleep, my phone is on do not disturb, but my mind is still buzzing away. These racing thoughts lead to bad sleep and 3 a.m. wake ups.
As Dr. Shelby Harris, psychologist with BetterSleep, explains, there are two big factors behind nighttime stress. And they're things none of us can avoid: the past and the future.
But although I can't power down my mind, Dr. Harris explains that there are ways to press pause on busy thoughts. Her pre-bed hacks are helping me drift off without anxiety. And I've found a way to supercharge her advice.
Key takeaways
- When we're in bed, mental noise fades, leaving you free to worry about the future and overthink the past.
- These anxieties keep the brain engaged, when it should be winding down.
- Simple writing tasks such as to-do lists and gratitude journals can redirect your thoughts to calmer, more sleep-inducing thought patterns.
The 2 factors that keep you awake
"At night, the mental noise of daily life fades and that quiet can actually work against us," says Dr. Harris, behavioral sleep medicine specialist.
Now that humdrum responsibilities aren't keeping the brain occupied, the stage is set for an onslaught of racing thoughts. She breaks it down into two problem areas: regretting the past and worrying about the future.
"Without the distraction of our to-do lists, unresolved thoughts move to the front," explains Dr. Harris. "Regrets about the past pull us into rumination, replaying conversations and decisions on a loop."
That's why that embarrassing moment from third grade you forgot about returns in technicolor when you're tucked up in bed.
And if the past wasn't bad enough, the future can also intrude on your rest.
"Worries about the future do something similar, but in the opposite direction — instead of rehashing what happened, we're mentally rehearsing what might happen, running through scenarios and trying to problem-solve before a problem even exists," says Dr. Shelby.
It's that itchy, restless feeling that compels you out of bed at 3 a.m. to start sending emails.
"Either way, the brain stays cognitively engaged at exactly the moment it needs to be powering down."
How to-do lists and gratitude journaling can help combat 3 a.m. wake ups
We can't just wipe our brains clean at bedtime. But good sleep hygiene can prevent unwanted thoughts from ruining your rest. Dr. Harris recommends adding a simple writing habit to your bedtime routine.
Gratitude journaling can help you stop overthinking the past
Life rarely seems gloomier than at 3 a.m. To help transition your thought patterns to a happier place, Dr. Harris recommends gratitude journaling.
"Gratitude journaling can be helpful because it shifts attention away from threat, unfinished business, and negative thought loops toward more positive or grounding experiences," she explains.
A gratitude journal is a place to write down happy reflections from the day. These can be small things — like that perfect cup of morning coffee — that made you smile.
"For someone whose mind tends to spiral at bedtime, that change in focus may make it easier to disengage from stressful thoughts," says Dr. Harris.
"That said, if journaling becomes another task you feel you have to complete perfectly, it can have the opposite effect. The goal is not to force yourself to think positively, but to give your mind something calmer and less activating to focus on."
To-do lists stop you from worrying about the future
"Writing down what needs to be done can give the brain a sense that those tasks have been captured and don't need to be actively rehearsed," says Dr. Harris.
These to-do lists shouldn't be unwieldy. She recommends keeping it "brief and actionable" rather than turning it into an opportunity to problem solve.
The goal is to reduce cognitive arousal rather than fight with your thoughts
Dr. Shelby Harris
So instead of detailing a 10-step plan to reconfigure your pension, your to-do list will act as a reminder that tomorrow you need to look into your savings.
"I often recommend treating a bedtime to-do list as a way of telling your brain, 'I don't need to solve this right now. It's written down, and I can deal with it tomorrow'," she says.
For college students (or parents of college students), these writing tasks are a good way to stay on top of burgeoning responsibilities and protect your sleep. After all, a study has found sleeping better can increase grades. And I have a hack to make it work even better...
My hack to supercharge your pre-bed ritual
I highly recommend handwriting your to-do lists and gratitude journals — don't just type them into your notes app. Research suggests that handwriting is better than typing for memory retention and it protects you from the bright lights and stimulation of your phone.
But recently I've switched from my trusty notebook to a reMarkable. This tablet and stylus works like a notebook but the final result can be uploaded to your online workspace.
The reMarkable can even read your handwriting and convert it into text. (Although my messy writing has resulted in some mistranslations.)
The big advantage is that I can easily turn my scribbled to-do lists into online documents. This is particularly useful for work-related lists, as I can collate my cluttered evening thoughts into something actionable the next day.
Speaking of clutter; mess is bad for your sleep, as it adds to the sense of unfinished business. Piles of half-scribbled to-do lists are particularly liable to trigger that sense of panic. A tablet like the reMarkable, or a well organized notebook, keeps everything in one tidy place.
Sleep expert's tips for reducing anxiety before bed
Good sleep hygiene is based around activities that you find relaxing, so if to-do lists and gratitude journaling aren't your jam, Dr. Harris has other suggestions to wind-down before bed.
"You can try slow breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or a quiet, low-stimulation activity," she advises. "I’m also a fan of practicing mindfulness meditation for just five minutes during the day."
She explains that these habits teach you to gently direct your attention away from anxious thoughts, towards a calmer, relaxing headspace.
"Over time, this helps strengthen your ability to let go of busy thoughts, she says. "Practicing during the day can make it easier to do the same thing when your mind starts racing in the middle of the night."
"The broader goal is to reduce cognitive arousal rather than fight with your thoughts — because trying to force yourself to stop thinking can sometimes make those thoughts even more persistent."
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