Can't sleep? The 'relaxing' habit that kept me awake and how I got my sleep back on track

It was during my fifth attempt to arrange bottles in height order before the countdown ran out that I realized my bedtime had long since passed and I was way too buzzed to sleep.

I should have been dozing happily. Instead I was crouched over my phone, screen blaring in my eyes, trying to organize a set of pixelated kitchen shelves. The 'de-stress' game that was meant to be soothing me to sleep was having the opposite effect.

The search for a calming bedtime routine

My normal pre-bed wind-down habit is reading but a too-interesting book had started keeping me up late, so I needed an alternate hobby.

I was looking for something I could do in dim lights that didn't require any financial investment (and wasn't social media) when I came across 'de-stress tidying' apps.

At first, these games seemed like a great idea — minimal brain engagement, no exciting story lines, that satisfaction of getting things in order. I played a couple of levels, felt chilled out and was ready to settle into sleep.

But I should have known better.

Gamifying put the 'stress' back in 'de-stress'

The element of 'gamification' introduced stress to my 'de-stress' game. Battling a countdown clock caused a spike in anxiety levels while the reward for getting things right meant I was always compelled by 'just one more level.'

When an ad finally annoyed me enough to put the phone down, my eyes were blinking away the blue light of my screen while my brain pictured an endless roll of colorful blocks.

There was only one option: I deleted the app.

Stress, stimulation and engagement

In general we don't recommend using your phone too close to bed time. As well as bright lights disrupting your circadian rhythms, the endless scroll of social media tends to keep your brain active, plus easy access to news sites can increase anxiety.

I know this all too well... and yet I thought 'de-stress' games would be different.

When we spoke to Dr. Ola Otulana, a GP and physician, about the risks of scrolling before bed, she noted that both the content and the interaction "overstimulate the brain.”

As a result, your body might be tired but your mind is wired, leaving groggy sleep inertia that you struggle to shake off during the day.

That was certainly how 'de-stress' games made me feel. My body was ready to crash but my brain was still attempting to organize imaginary kitchen cabinets.

Wind-down routines aren't static

I'll chalk this one up as a learning experience. Wind-down routines aren't static, they need to adapt to your needs and circumstances, and that sometimes means trying 'relaxing' habits that don't actually help you relax.

A good wind-down routine should leave you primed and ready to sleep by helping both your body and your brain switch off. This means avoiding anything stressful or stimulating.

But 'stress' and 'stimulation' mean different things to different people. For some, calming games might actually help you feel calm. For others, reading before bed makes it impossible to drift off.

And for me, no matter how 'relaxing' any app claims to be, I should learn the lesson that my phone is not good for my sleep.

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