Smart toilets, sardines and more
There are literally thousands of smart TVs, connected cars, gaming laptops, and other gadgets shown at CES, and some are bound to be a bit... out there. From smart toilets for dogs to a sardine-based cryptocurrency, here are some of the stranger devices we saw at this year's show.
A smart treadmill for cats
Is your cat too fat? Then maybe you can convince him or her to take a run on The Little Cat treadmill, which has an LED light in the middle of the track to keep your feline interested. We have a feeling that the only thing that will get lighter is your wallet once you plunk down $1,800 for this thing. Maybe try feeding him less.
Lamborghini Massage Chair
You could buy a real car for less than this crazy-expensive massage chair. Among other things, the $30,000 Lamborghini massage chair features rich leather, a full-body experience, and measures your heart rate and then customizes a massage program for you. Oh yes, it also lights up and reclines. It goes from zero to ridiculous in less than six seconds.
Smart Dog Toilet
You could take your dog for a walk, or you could spend $1,200 for this massive “smart” toilet, touted as the first fully automated pet toilet. After your best friend does his business, the bottom of the toilet raises up and collects the waste into a small plastic bag, which is then sealed for your disposal. What a time to be alive.
At CES, there are a lot of wearables that purport to use technology to boost your gray matter. Somehow, this $55 sleeve sends signals to your brain to help eliminate interference between your frontal cortex and occipital lobe. If you get this thing, you’ve probably had a lobotomy.
This is nightmare fuel. Get too close to Big Bird’s tweaked-out cousin, and not only will its mouth start flapping, but the hands on its head will start clapping, and it will start talking to you. Good thing it lacks feet, so you can run away. Run away quickly.
Kohler's $8,000 Alexa Toilet
I find Amazon’s voice assistant to be very useful, but I'm not sure if I want it listening in on my while I’m deep in, uh, thought. And, while the heated seat and bidet functions of the Kohler Numi 2.0 toilet do seem useful, I don’t know how necessary it is to have a light show pulsing out from my underside.
You may not have any memories from your infant days, but Babeyes wants to change that. The solution? A wearable camera that clips onto your baby’s onesie (or onto the side of a crib) that starts capturing video when a parent steps into the frame. The idea behind this $139 camera arriving later this month is that it will capture parents’ expressions of love and affection that a child can look back on years later. But the reality is probably a lot of shots of bleary-eyed parents stumbling into the nursery after another late-night wake-up call to change a messy diaper.
Pigzbe wants to teach your kids about money and managing allowances. That’s good! But it wants them to collect that allowance using a cryptocurrency called Wollo. That… seems a little bit more complicated than just stashing the couple of bucks mom and dad give you for chores into a piggy bank. The folks behind Pigzbe argue that we’re living in an age where cash and coins are becoming less prevalent, and while Pigzbe’s approach means relatives around the world can easily chip in, imagine explaining the fluctuating value of cryptocurrencies to your six-year-old. Nevertheless, the new-age piggybank is set to debut in June at $99.
We always thought the sardine industry was a bit stuck in its ways, which is why we were delighted to find MySardines.com, whose tagline is “Discover the First Digital Disruptive innovation in Sardine World.” It’s a cryptocurrency that uses cans of sardines as digital tokens, or something like that to back the currency. Sounds fishy to us.