Looking over the Prime Video top 10 this week has caused an unwelcome flashback.
The rotating ranking of the most-watched movies on the popular streaming service has made me recall the summer of 2013 when I turned 18, thoroughly embarrassed myself after trying vodka-cranberry for the first time, and endured “R.I.P.D.” in theaters. I’m not sure which experience was more traumatic.
This sci-fi blockbuster fronted by Ryan Reynolds and Jeff Bridges cost Universal Pictures an eye-watering $150m to produce, and recouped barely half its budget in theaters. I’d say that’s 50% too much, because frankly, this supernatural action-comedy was fortunate to make even a few bucks.
The movie currently ranks No. 3 in the Prime Video top 10, ahead of the likes of “Conclave” and “The Super Mario Bros. Movie,” and to say it doesn’t deserve such a high spot on the list would be an understatement. If I had my way, it would be erased from cinematic existence.
If you’re wondering whether it’s worth adding to your watchlist, I’ll cut to the chase: it does not. But if you're a curious type and need to know more, here’s why “R.I.P.D.” is a blockbuster blunder that should have stayed buried.
What is “R.I.P.D.” about?
“R.I.P.D.,” or to use its ludicrous full name, “R.I.P.D: Rest in Peace Department, sees Ryan Reynolds play Nick Walker, a Boston detective recently killed in action and recruited into the eponymous afterlife agency.
The R.I.P.D. is a supernatural task force that tracks down wayward spirits who have escaped judgment. Nick is soon paired up with Roy (Jeff Bridges), a department veteran and lawman in the Old West in his previous life.
When Nick and Roy stumble on a dangerous plot that could see vengeful spirits descend upon the world of the living, they embark on a quest to save not just their souls but also protect Nick’s loved one still living in our reality.
Also starring Kevin Bacon as Nick’s former partner, alongside Mary-Louise Parker, Stéphanie Szostak and Robert Knepper, “R.I.P.D.” is a buddy-cop action flick with an otherworldly twist.
Seriously, don’t stream “R.I.P.D.” on Prime Video
Typically, at this point in my write-ups, I’d try and list at least one reason that you might find “R.I.P.D.” a worthwhile watch but this time, I got nothing.
Let me spell this out very clearly: “R.I.P.D.” is an unmitigated disaster. It’s the type of movie that makes you question why you’re a movie fan in the first place. It’s a complete mess all the way down. It trades any interest or intrigue for shlocky action spectacle and corny humor.
And the action on offer isn’t even enjoyable in a “switch-your-brain-off” way either. It leaps between generic sci-fi set pieces and downright uncomfortable moments, with some truly bizarre CGI creations that will make your skin crawl — and not in the way the filmmakers probably intended.
Ryan Reynolds is in full autopilot mode as Nick Walker. The charismatic actor spouts endless lazy sarcastic quips, and Nick's bland redemption arc doesn’t come close to connecting. If you thought his performance as Hal Jordan in the infamously awful “Green Lantern” movie was phoned in, you haven’t seen anything yet. At least Jeff Bridges attempts to inject some energy, but to no avail.
The movie was also clearly supposed to be a franchise starter, so it spends far too much time trying to establish its world in the hopes that it would be revisited many times in the future. The flick's box office failings quickly put those plans on ice and all we got was a direct-to-DVD sequel, “R.I.P.D. 2: Rise of the Damned,” which got even worse reviews (obviously, I skipped that one).
Speaking of reviews, “R.I.P.D.” was not a critical darling. It holds a dreadful 13% score on Rotten Tomatoes. To put that score into context, it’s lower than “Fifty Shades of Grey” and every single “Twilight” movie. That’s the level of awfulness we’re talking about here.
Even the few viewers who stumped up the cash to see this movie in theaters weren’t impressed. The movie’s audience score sits at a pitiful 38%, which is extremely damning considering on the whole viewer’s ratings tend to be much more favourable than the critics.
Watch this sci-fi action movie on Prime Video instead of “R.I.P.D.”
If you really need a sci-fi action fix on Prime Video this week, might I suggest “The Tomorrow War.”
Now, laying my cards on the table, this Chris Pratt-fronted blockbuster is no masterpiece. It falls into a lot of the same traps as “R.I.P.D.” with a focus on messy action, and it's instantly forgettable, but it’ll at least hold your attention throughout its two-hour runtime.
The movie sees Chris Pratt play a former soldier, now a teacher, who is enlisted to fight a future war when time travelers come to present-day Earth to warn that an alien invasion is about to wipe out the Earth in thirty years. The Prime Video original movie also stars J. K. Simmons, Yvonne Strahovski, Betty Gilpin and Sam Richardson.
Powered by a $200m budget, it packs plenty of high-production action and is at least passable entertainment. Which is a lot more than can be said for “R.I.P.D.” So if you really want to bring home some sci-fi blockbuster thrills this week, the choice on Prime Video is pretty obvious.
Alternatively, if you want to watch something of actual quality that I can recommend without any caveats, here’s a list of new to Prime Video movies with at least 90% on Rotten Tomatoes.
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