Apple TV Plus' latest original feature is "Fountain of Youth," a new Guy Ritchie movie that sees John Krasinski and Natalie Portman playing estranged siblings on a quest for the titular artefact.
It's a film I've been keeping a close eye on ever since I saw the first trailer. I have a lot of love for adventure movie classics like "The Mummy" and "Indiana Jones," so "Fountain of Youth" ended up being one of my most anticipated watches from the start of the summer movie season.
Ahead of its release on the Apple streaming service tomorrow (Friday, May 23), I got to attend a preview screening to see what this globe-trotting adventure had in store. Here's what I have to say about the experience
'Fountain of Youth' may not be worth finding
The story follows wayward treasure hunter Luke Purdue (John Krasinski). He's currently being bankrolled by an ailing wealthy benefactor, Owen Carver (Domhnall Gleeson), who wants him to locate the Fountain of Youth.
Having spent some time gathering clues to the fountain’s location, he ends up roping his sister, art curator Charlotte (Natalie Portman), in on the quest.
With Luke's crew (and Owen's money) in tow, the duo set off in search of the mythological water source, and what follows will be familiar to any fans of movies like "Indiana Jones," "National Treasure," "The Mummy" and more. There's danger, hot pursuits, slippery escapes, ancient artefacts, some impressive sets and high stakes… and it should be an absolute blast.
The emphasis is very much on the word "should" in that previous paragraph, though, as “Fountain of Youth” is let down by rather poor writing.
Ritchie’s got proven action chops, and they still come through here in some of the major setpieces — highlights including the moped chase through the streets of Bangkok that opens the movie, or a hand-to-hand scrap partway through inside a grand library — and at least things move along at a clip.
The problem is, whenever the action stops, we’re mired in those writing woes. The script is in keeping with the kind of hammy nature of the genre, but the dialogue is just so reliant on cliches and eye-roll-worthy, obvious quips, bad gags and confusing metaphors.
Worse, it also suffers from repetition and tons of exposition. Characters will, out loud, just tell you exactly what they’re doing and when they’re doing it, or restate what it is they need to do multiple times over. It's like it was designed to be watched in the background, while you’re doing something else.
There are other problems; the performances feel a little lackluster, for one, and there's some pointless slow-mo thrown in for seemingly no real reason, but the poor writing is easily the single biggest mark against "Fountain of Youth."
That's a real shame, too, because I was genuinely really looking forward to seeing it, and wanted to be able to give the movie a glowing recommendation. But after seeing it? I simply can't.
Verdict: ‘Fountain of Youth’ is a major letdown
“Fountain of Youth” is not, to be clear, the worst movie in the world; I’ve streamed much worse. It’s just that it’s another of Apple TV Plus’ serviceable-at-best movies, and I’m not at all surprised it has skipped theaters altogether.
If you’re at a loss for weekend viewing, you’re a Guy Ritchie fan and you think you’d get a kick out of a very silly treasure hunt, “Fountain of Youth” might still be worth adding to your watchlist.
But if you were hoping for a bold, brilliant adventure flick like I was, check your expectations: Ritchie’s latest feature ain’t it.
"Fountain of Youth" is streaming on Apple TV Plus from Friday, May 23. Looking to make the most of your Apple TV Plus subscription? Check out our round-up of the best Apple TV Plus shows for tons more streaming recommendations.
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