Netflix's latest addition is a dark fantasy action movie starring Vin Diesel that, on paper, sounds like it'll be a riot.
As of today (June 16), Breck Eisner's "The Last Witch Hunter" is now available on the streaming service.
This 2015 action flick pits Diesel's sword-swinging supernatural hunter against nefarious sorcerers. Sounds like a recipe for campy fun, right? Unfortunately.... It's anything but
Even as a big fantasy guy myself, this is one new-to-Netflix watch I'd urge you to find something else to stream — and it turns out I'm not alone on that front, either.
If you were waiting to stream "The Last Witch Hunter" on Netflix, you can find a little more info about the movie, and why I (and plenty of other viewers) would suggest you steer clear.
What is 'The Last Witch Hunter' about?
"The Last Witch Hunter" introduces us to Kaulder (Vin Diesel), a powerful warrior cursed with immortality moments before he slayed the all-powerful Witch Queen hundreds of years ago.
Working with "The Axes and Cross," Kaulder has kept humanity safe from supernatural forces, hunting down rogue witches who violate the fragile peace between the witches and the human race and keeping their powers in check.
When a modern coven hatches a deadly plan to resurrect their queen, Kaulder and a few close allies look to be humanity's only chance at survival.
In addition to Vin Diesel, "The Last Witch Hunter" also stars Michael Caine, Elijah Wood and Rose Leslie.
So what's the problem with 'The Last Witch Hunter' on Netflix?
Put simply, "The Last Witch Hunter" is a dreary watch. I'm no stranger to going against the grain when it comes to the fantasy genre — I went to bat for the "Warcraft" movie when it came to Netflix — but I don't think the movie that made it to our screens is worth shouting about.
A lot of the problem is simply that I just don't buy Vin Diesel in the lead role; "The Last Witch Hunter" does not feel like his kind of movie.
While the visual effects aren't bad (compared to some of today's watches), and the fights might occasionally thrill, it's just not very entertaining stuff.
A lot of the problem is simply that I just don't buy Vin Diesel in the lead role; "The Last Witch Hunter" does not feel like his kind of movie.
I can't even really see it landing as a guilty pleasure; "The Last Witch Hunter" does not veer into "so bad its good" territory. It's a self-serious, "edgy" mishmash of fantasy tropes and action, and a poorly written, plodding one at that.
It's the kind of movie that wants you to think it is cool... but doesn't come off that way whatsoever. In other words, it's the movie equivalent of that dodgy "Shadow the Hedgehog" PS2 game.
As I mentioned above, this isn't exactly a unique stance on the film, either.
At the time of writing, "The Last Witch Hunter" holds a measly 18% critics rating on Rotten Tomatoes. This isn't a situation where critics and viewers differ wildly, either; that 44% score on the Popcornmeter is indicative of a mixed reception, at best.
As a sample of what people have to say about "The Last Witch Hunter," take Guy Lodge's review at Variety, who summed the movie up as a "limp, lame-brained occult thriller" and said it was "too drab to succeed even as defiantly unvirtuous trash."
The Guardian's Peter Bradshaw gave the movie a one-star rating, calling it "dismal and dull" and positing Diesel and co.'s witch-hunting flick measures up unfavorably to Paramount's shlocky fairytale effort, "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters".
And, reviewing at Entertainment Weekly, Kyle Anderson described the movie as "an unfortunately heavy-handed, humorless, self-serious" affair, adding: "It should be crazy fun on paper — Vin Diesel murders witches with a flaming sword! — but the only thing The Last Witch Hunter will successfully eradicate is insomnia."
Unless you're desperate for some swords-and-sorcery fun (and you've already watched the far superior "Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves"), I'd suggest you avoid streaming "The Last Witch Hunter" on Netflix.
If that means you're now in need of some new streaming suggestions for your next movie night, check out our round-up of the best movies on Netflix for tons of top recommendations.
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