As much as I love the brand of cerebral horror coming from trailblazers like Jordan Peele and Ari Aster, I grew up watching schlocky slashers, and it's sad to see them become a dying breed these days.
Recent twists on the sub-genre like "M3GAN" or "X," while fantastic in their own right, never fail to remind me how much I miss the camp, the morbid one-liners, and the equally creative and gruesome kills.
So when I saw "Heart Eyes," the rare Valentine's Day slasher movie, landed on Netflix this week, it shot to the top of my must-watch list. And I'm happy to say it did not disappoint. I'm not alone in thinking that, either. "Heart Eyes" has already shot to the #4 spot in Netflix's top 10 list, and it's currently sitting at a respectable 81% critics' score on Rotten Tomatoes, a rare feat for a horror movie.
Packed with dark humor, over-the-top kills, and sizzling chemistry between its leads, "Heart Eyes" is a wildly entertaining watch. The biggest jump scare came at the end, though, when I saw Josh Ruben listed as the director. My husband and I are huge fans of Dropout, and we both spotted his brief cameo in the movie's third act but had no idea one of the Noise Boys was in the director's chair. In retrospect, that totally tracks with the movie's sense of humor — and I will be watching it again to listen out for seagull noises.
Wondering whether "Heart Eyes" deserves a spot on your watchlist? Here's everything you need to know about this campy rom-com slasher, and why it should be on your radar.
What is 'Heart Eyes' about?
For the past two years, a masked killer known as Heart Eyes has been terrorizing couples on Valentine's Day, leaving a grisly trail of bodies in his wake. This year, he arrives in Seattle, spreading panic across the city as everyone wonders who’s next.
But this time, he's picked the wrong targets. For one thing, they’re not even a couple. Not yet, at any rate, though it won't be long given all the meet-cute romcom movie magic relentlessly propelling them into each other's orbit.
After fumbling her shot with a handsome stranger on her morning coffee run, ad designer Ally (Olivia Holt) finds herself in hot water at work. She's channeled all her bitterness over a recent breakup into an ill-timed campaign about doomed lovers. Her boss forces her to team up with famed designer Jay Simmons, who, naturally, turns out to be the very same dreamboat from that morning.
However, when Heart Eyes marks them as his next victims, the duo's burgeoning chemistry takes a backseat to a pulse-pounding chase throughout the city where love might be their only way out alive.
A delightfully twisted love story
Based on the trailer, I wasn't sure whether "Heart Eyes" would have much going on beyond its hokey premise, but there's plenty to love about this rom-com slasher.
Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding have impeccable chemistry as Ally and Jay, which carries a lot of the movie. Their relationship follows typical rom-com trajectory. Constant bickering as they race to pull together an ad campaign to save Ally's job quickly melts away as they get to know each other. Each is a hapless romantic who can't help but get in their own way, Ally with her obsession with her ex and Jay with coming on too strong from the jump.
Of course, the twist is that all this bonding comes as they run for their lives on Valentine's Day. Though their more heartfelt moments of connection drag the movie's third act too much for my liking, it does lead to some really fun moments that feel genuine. Like when their banter turns to heckling the serial killer's technique for hackin' and slashin'.
Every character feels like they know they're in a campy slasher movie, and that's part of what I found so charming about "Heart Eyes." It reminded me of the "Scary Movie" franchise back in its heyday.
For instance, one of the cops tracking Heart Eyes is a full-blown incel bitter over the fact that he's single on Valentine's Day. Naturally, he gets stabbed in the crotch.
I cracked up during a shopping montage when it cut to Ally's friend Monica (Gigi Zumbado) giving her outfit a thumbs down with a full bottle of Hennessy in hand. That same friend delivers one of my favorite moments later on when she gives a pep talk to Ally that namedrops an impressive number of rom-com movie titles. (My husband didn't catch a single one and was confused why I was laughing so hard, so suffice it to say we're getting a divorce.)
The killer's design is also one of my favorites in recent memory. Is it practical? Of course not, but it looks cool as hell. The lights on the mask have a low-tech crunchiness to them that I found delightful, and the red especially pops in the dark. I particularly liked one scene shot from the killer's perspective, which felt like a throwback to "The Silence of the Lambs," one of my favorite horror movies of all time.
The gorey bits never linger too long either, which was great because I'm a wimp with that stuff. There were a few moments during the final fight that I had to watch through my fingers, but it's far from "Terrifier" territory.
Why you need to stream 'Heart Eyes'
Is "Heart Eyes" one of the best horror movies I've ever seen? Eh. But it's a solid popcorn flick that doesn't take itself too seriously and was clearly made with love from fans of both the horror and rom-com genres.
It plays into both romcom and slasher tropes with a devilish grin, striking a satisfying balance between scares, laughs, and self-awareness without beating you over the head with it. "Heart Eyes" is a refreshing break from elevated horror that taps into what drew many fans to the genre in the first place. I fully expect to see Heart Eyes masks earn a place on store shelves right alongside Jason and Michael Myers come this Halloween.
Still not quite sold on "Heart Eyes?" For even more streaming recommendations, be sure to check out our round-up of the top new movies to stream on Netflix, Max, Hulu, and more this weekend.
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