15 Funny Things To Ask Alexa
Alexa can do more than ever, thanks to its vast set of skills. Just say, “Alexa, turn on the lights,” or “Alexa, ask Uber for a ride,” to get a sense of what’s possible. But Amazon’s assistant also has a sense of humor: It can tell jokes, spew impressive facts or even meow to your cat. Here are some of Alexa’s funniest skills.
Illustration: Amazon; Tom's Guide; David Parry/PA/Zuma Press
The simply titled Meow skill will literally meow, purr and chirp when you enable this command. It will either keep your cats entertained or thoroughly confuse them.
Need some help making a decision? This modern take on the classic prognostication toy is here to help. Ask any yes-or-no question, and it will tell you "most likely," "my reply is no" or other more cryptic responses. You may miss shaking the ball, though.
When you’re in need of a pun with a scientific twist, Geek Humor has the jokes ready. Example: "What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together? CSI."
Illustration: Tom’s Guide; David Parry/PA/Zuma Press
If you're in the mood for some mildly offensive put-downs, open Roast Master to hear things like "Hey, your village called. They want their idiot back." Warning: Mature content.
Things that make you go “hmmm”: If you're a fan of wordplay and pseudo-deep thoughts, say, "Alexa, open Philosoraptor," to hear things like, "If camera lenses are round, why do pictures come out rectangular?"
There are few things funnier than jokes at the expense of the very serious, and hipsters are ripe for a joke such as, "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does a hipster still buy its album?"
Crazy Fact told me, "The name Wendy was made up for the book ‘Peter Pan.’ There was never a recorded Wendy before!" I did not know that.
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Need some clichéd Dad wisdom to help you get through the day? Alexa can take care of that, with sayings like, "Fight the good fight. Finish the race. Keep the faith."
Meet Gabe the Doggo. With the Bork skill, he will bork for you on command. Say "Alexa, ask Gabe the dog to bork," and Gabe will bork along to any number of classic songs.
This skill dishes out the best jokes from the subreddit /r/Jokes. You can ask for the top joke of the day, week or all time. Warning: Mature content likely.
In the tradition of Don Rickles and Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog, ask Alexa to be mean, and you'll hear things like, "You're so fat, when your beeper went off, people thought a truck was backing up." You can also direct Alexa's anger at a specific person. Say, for example, "Alexa, start being mean to Jim."
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Fart sounds are a timeless humor, funny for children and child-like adults alike. In this modern update to the whoopee cushion, just ask Alexa for a fart, and your state-of-the-art smart speaker will emit a sound that resembles flatulence. Odor not included.
Elevating the art of haiku to the ludicrous, this skill dishes out three lines of appropriate length poetry on the joys of chicken nuggets. This kind of high-brow humor may only be appropriate if you’re a fan of haikus and chicken nuggets—likely a small intersection of interests.
Pretend it’s Talk Like a Pirate Day everyday. Ask Pirate Translator to translate “Where is my dinner?” and you’ll get “Ahoy, where be my grub?” Hint: Most of the translations involve “ahoy” or “gar.”
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