iPad App Remedies Premature Ejaculation (Really?)
Premature ejaculation? Yes, there is an app for that.
There are a lot of useless applications in Apple's App Store. Whether the following falls into that category probably hinges on whether or not it works. Dubbed 'Control Premature Ejaculation HD,' the app is described by Recombu as a "serious medical application."
The £2.99 ($4.99) app features British hypnotist Darren Marks and promises to turn you into a great lover by teaching you to "take control of your mind and body."
"Anxiety plays a big role in sexual problems and can sometimes produce an almost phobic response of fear. This application, created by Darren Marks, one of the UKs leading and most effective hypnotherapists, builds on his very popular free app Relax Completely and is designed to help you to begin to reprogram your mind to feel comfortable, confident, competent and in control during sexual activity. The aim is for you to learn how to relax, breathe naturally and feel really good about those situations."
The features of the app include "a powerful hypnosis audio session for controlling premature ejaculation" and a choice of relaxing video animations to run with the audio programs, as well as addition tips for avoiding premature ejaculation.
Features:
*A powerful hypnosis audio session for controlling premature ejaculation.
* Additional free hypnosis sessions designed to enhance and reinforce the main session:
1) Relax Completely
2) Supercharge Your Self Esteem & Self Confidence
3) Total Relaxation in 10 minutes
* Hypnosis sessions incorporate dual vocal delivery & unique powerful audio technology designed to help the listener access a deep hypnotic, meditation state much more quickly and easily than would usually be possible.
* A choice of beautiful, relaxing video animations to run with the audio programs
* Video interviews to help you understand and feel comfortable with the process and to simulate as closely as possible what it’s like to see Darren in person.
* Additional tips for controlling premature ejaculation.
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I have a better cure - 15 years of marriage!
I see they are finally addressing the epidemic plaguing most Apple fanatics.
Interesting, I might need it (hopefully not)in a few decades.
Is there an App to make my penis larger...
Or even better, the App simply has a picture of Steve Jobs saying: "avoid holding it that way".
Only in Apple-land.
"Or even better, the App simply has a picture of Steve Jobs saying: "avoid holding it that way"."
that might stop all ejaculation though...
I see they are finally addressing the epidemic plaguing most Apple fanatics.
I love you
LOL
I guess Jane drew the short stick on who was supposed to write this article...
But... really? No other news available?
I see they are finally addressing the epidemic plaguing most Apple fanatics.
omg rofl xD...
If the app is used on the iPad it stops intercourse completely.
AH! that's an easy one. a photo of the average ipad owner will kill any boner, let alone PE
It's great to see there's apps out there to help deal with some of the problems the average Apple customer goes through every day. This will revolutionize the way you reproduce.
What kind of... relaxing video animations?
People will buy anything....
Here's a piece of the audio: "Hold it, hold it, hold it......"
iPad owners actually have sex?
Yeah, because I am usually holding my hand-held (no pun intended) computer while having sex (with someone else). Staring at the screen alone (depending on whats on it) instead of focusing on the act should do the trick of preventing premature ejaculation.
LOLI guess Jane drew the short stick on who was supposed to write this article...But... really? No other news available?
Hell no, I found it, I wrote it.
I have a better cure - 15 years of marriage!
OMG!!! Funny!
I see they are finally addressing the epidemic plaguing most Apple fanatics.
Wait...don't you have to actually be involved with someone physically in order to suffer this problem? This is not an issue for Apple fanatics.
I thought they preferred to premature ejaculate.. Then they can go back to playing with their ipad quicker.
i betcha this fell through the cracks and is going to get censored by Apple belatedly
now they need an app to solve the exact opposite problem. It takes me too LONG to ejaculate
but no pr0n?
Jane, how is your last name pronounced? I cannot find any information on the net, and it's quite frustrating whenever I see your name.
Jane, how is your last name pronounced? I cannot find any information on the net, and it's quite frustrating whenever I see your name.
OCD eh?... yea thats not at all creepy
APPLE SLOGAN: "ALL YOUR SPERM ARE BELONG TO US!"
"WE CAN EVEN CONTROL YOUR EJACULATION."
"JOIN OUR SEXUALLY INCAPABLE COMMUNITY TODAY."
/i'm just warming up...
I hope they'll come out with a DROID version of "AMP Up Before You Score"
There are several techniques (spelling?) that I can't ejaculate, oh I mean: write about here...
Well if people are so "stupid" to buy the hardware... they sure as hell are stupid enought to believe in an app like that. Almost wish my company had with iCultists to work with, easy money!
A hypnosis app?
Careful, the 10th time you use it, it turns you into a chicken!
Jane, how is your last name pronounced? I cannot find any information on the net, and it's quite frustrating whenever I see your name.
Mac-in-tag-ert. Paste "mcintaggert" into this website and the nice robot man will tell you how to say it.