The Blanket That Absorbs Farts

Looks like flatulence is a leading cause for divorce in the United States, as the marketers of The Better Marriage Blanket would have you believe. Made with "the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons", this blanket promises to filter out the odor badness from farts, leaving clean air and saving your spouse's nose from evil smells. The "active carbon fiber" layer is fabric high-tech at work, made friendly for the consumer market.

Seriously? Yes, women all over (and perhaps some men?) suffer from when their loved one breaks wind. But if your husband or wife can't stand your fart smell, then there's something genuinely wrong with your marriage. For better or worse, people. Also, wouldn't giving the Better Marriage Blanket as an anniversary or wedding gift—as suggested by the makers—send the wrong message? "Hey, we think your farts are terrible, here's a thoughtful gift from me!"

Whatever the case, do you really have to pay at least $120 (for a twin-sized blanket) for this "solution"? Personally, avoiding nocturnal flatulence is a simple matter of doing the dirty deed before hitting the sack.

Official Better Marriage Blanket Website

  • Rahbot
    LOL Tats funny even for the money ha ha ha. When I fart my wife tells me that I stink and I need to go wash my ass.
  • nforce4max
    To little to late.
  • koga73
    if it uses active carbon as the filter, wonder how long the lifetime is on one of these blankets?
  • gtvr
    Do it before you go to bed? It's a constant process. LOL.
  • reklatsa
    Could this be made big enough to cover all American Republicans if congregated into one place?
  • dman3k
    I'm sorry, but my farts smell better than a woman in her period. When are we getting the iPad?
  • omnimodis78
    Out is better than in, and I am sure that princible applies to this... Can you imagine how this blanket would smell after, say, a week? I'm sure not like downy.
  • Greg_77
    Hey, at least the marketing materials don't call the blanket "magical"
  • isamuelson
    Nothing says "I Love You" better than a Dutch Oven. Come on! :D
  • maxiim
    I can see this thing wrecking more marriages. "Hey honey, you smell like crap during the night, here, a thoughtful gift."