Sign in with
Sign up | Sign in

There's a $850 Quintillion Death Star Kickstarter Campaign

By - Source: Kickstarter | B 31 comments

The rejected petition to the U.S. government has now moved to the Death Star.

The White House recently responded to an online petition asking the government to begin construction of an actual Death Star-like space station by 2016. This crazy petition was actually signed by more than 34,000 supporters, but that wasn't enough to persuade Paul Shawcross of the White House Office of Management and Budget (who heads the Science and Space branch) to spend roughly $850 quintillion dollars.

Perhaps a Jedi would have done a better job of convincing him?

"We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it," he said in an official response to the petition. "The Administration does not support blowing up planets. Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?"

He also pointed out that space is no longer just government-only territory. "Private American companies, through NASA's Commercial Crew and Cargo Program Office (C3PO), are ferrying cargo -- and soon, crew -- to space for NASA, and are pursuing human missions to the Moon this decade," he added.

Of course, it would take 833,000 years before the project could even be ready for construction due to the rate of steel production, so that's a major setback in itself. American's will just have to suffice with the football field-sized International Space Station that's currently in orbit.

Still, despite the White House rejection and inarguable evidence, supporters of the proposed Death Star have taken their empire of followers to Kickstarter, hoping to persuade loyal subjects into coughing up an incredible load of money. Except this time, there probably won't be a fatal design flaw that sends a couple of torpedoes straight into the main reactor core. As it stands now, the initial design is a mere circle.

According to the Kickstarter page, the project has a goal of over $30 million USD (£20,000,000) in funding (stretch goal is $850 quintillion) which would be used to create more detailed plans. The keep costs low, the entire project will use open source hardware and software. Surprisingly, there are already 796 backers who have supposedly "funded" nearly £175,000. With 52 days still to go, meeting the goal doesn't seem possible without holding some princess for ransom.

"The only risk is the power of the Force," the project states. "The main challenge is assuring Kickstarter that this is a joke and not a serious project. As proof, the goal has been set high enough to make successful funding almost impossible."

Darn. Oh well.

Besides, who needs a Death Star when we already have Mimas orbiting Saturn? That's probably why we haven't seen any real alien visitors – they're picked up on transmissions of Star Wars and know exactly what this supposed "moon" can do.


Contact Us for News Tips, Corrections and Feedback

Discuss
Display all 31 comments.
This thread is closed for comments
Top Comments
  • 14 Hide
    unoriginal1 , February 7, 2013 1:29 PM
    "We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it,"

    I like this comment. As we spend 120 million on an inauguration party :/ .
  • 10 Hide
    jankeke , February 7, 2013 1:35 PM
    Why not just convert Mimas to a death star ? That would be A LOT cheaper !
    Fit it with some armor plating and drill a few holes for corridors and rooms, add a death ray and voilà ! There's your death star.
Other Comments
  • 2 Hide
    Parsian , February 7, 2013 12:51 PM
    it has nearly reached $300,000 USD. WOW. if they riase 1% of that money, they can probably pay for complete rebuilt of Africa 100X times. Alternatively, they can start a massive city on Mars.
  • 8 Hide
    jkflipflop98 , February 7, 2013 12:57 PM
    Do I like Star Wars? Hell yeah I do. Do I want my own Death Star? Of course.

    However, starting a kickstarter with a target of more money than has ever existed in the entirety of humanity is a little stupid. It's not going to happen.
  • 6 Hide
    virtualban , February 7, 2013 12:57 PM
    I would rather see a ring like in Halo..
    *comes back from dream lands*
  • 8 Hide
    dgingeri , February 7, 2013 1:20 PM
    Maybe a Death Star is reaching a bit. Perhaps we could invest a couple trillion dollars on a Doom Star.
  • 14 Hide
    unoriginal1 , February 7, 2013 1:29 PM
    "We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it,"

    I like this comment. As we spend 120 million on an inauguration party :/ .
  • 2 Hide
    unoriginal1 , February 7, 2013 1:32 PM
    Correction:

    Bush 2005 ~ 158 Million
    Obama 2009 ~ 170 Million
    Obama 2012 ~ 180 Million
  • 10 Hide
    jankeke , February 7, 2013 1:35 PM
    Why not just convert Mimas to a death star ? That would be A LOT cheaper !
    Fit it with some armor plating and drill a few holes for corridors and rooms, add a death ray and voilà ! There's your death star.
  • 0 Hide
    Pailin , February 7, 2013 1:51 PM
    Well, we have plenty of time to pitch in th emoney!

    Will see how far it gets when the Funding ends on Monday, April 1 :) 


    -- I do think a Serious campaign for a Serious Project "like" this could Actually work! I would put money on it.
  • 7 Hide
    sixdegree , February 7, 2013 2:16 PM
    I bet if a hostile alien race ever come to the earth, everybody will stop laughing and start funding this glorious project.
  • 3 Hide
    whiteodian , February 7, 2013 2:47 PM
    jankekeWhy not just convert Mimas to a death star ? That would be A LOT cheaper !Fit it with some armor plating and drill a few holes for corridors and rooms, add a death ray and voilà ! There's your death star.
    That would be much more logical. The resources and time needed to construct one from scratch are rediculous. Was the original one hollow at all? I'm not sure why they need all that space.
  • 1 Hide
    ankaj , February 7, 2013 4:17 PM
    So what happens if it actually gets funded?
  • 2 Hide
    gm0n3y , February 7, 2013 4:20 PM
    I've pledged a decent bit of coin to this. If this somehow makes it to $20,000,000 I'll be very surprised, but OK with them taking my money. I'd love to see real science projects that are funded like this. I'd throw ~$20-50 at projects that I feel are worthwhile.
  • -5 Hide
    blackmancer , February 7, 2013 4:20 PM
    retards. nuf said
  • 1 Hide
    basketcase87 , February 7, 2013 5:43 PM
    jkflipflop98Do I like Star Wars? Hell yeah I do. Do I want my own Death Star? Of course.However, starting a kickstarter with a target of more money than has ever existed in the entirety of humanity is a little stupid. It's not going to happen.

    I'm sure they're totally serious about this project.
  • 2 Hide
    cozmosis , February 7, 2013 6:00 PM
    I hate to nitpick, but isn't it $850 quadrillion, not quintrillion?
  • 0 Hide
    Pailin , February 7, 2013 6:06 PM
    Quote:
    £543,000,000,000,000,00 ($850,000,000,000,000,000) to secure full funding for actual construction.


    They messed up the Kickstarter description missing a 0 for the £ version, but is definitely quintillion that was meant ;) 
  • 3 Hide
    george21546 , February 7, 2013 6:11 PM
    Just pay for it with those 1 trillion coins
  • 0 Hide
    robochump , February 7, 2013 6:53 PM
    $850 Quintillion is one thing. I wonder what the monthly maid service would cost! I can only assume the Empire did not pay its workers but instead allowed them, not only to live, but gave them food and shelter as payment. Damn, the logistics alone for making the Death Star would make for a cool Star Wars movie. Do any of you guys think the original architect of Death Star I was around for DS 2? lol
  • 0 Hide
    wifiwolf , February 7, 2013 6:54 PM
    Can they make it un-hackable
  • 0 Hide
    renosablast , February 7, 2013 7:06 PM
    Considering how many realistic and reasonable projects that Kickstarter does not approve, how on earth (or off earth) does this one ever meet their "criteria"?
Display more comments
Tom’s guide in the world
  • Germany
  • France
  • Italy
  • Ireland
  • UK
Follow Tom’s guide
Subscribe to our newsletter