There's a $850 Quintillion Death Star Kickstarter Campaign
The rejected petition to the U.S. government has now moved to the Death Star.
The White House recently responded to an online petition asking the government to begin construction of an actual Death Star-like space station by 2016. This crazy petition was actually signed by more than 34,000 supporters, but that wasn't enough to persuade Paul Shawcross of the White House Office of Management and Budget (who heads the Science and Space branch) to spend roughly $850 quintillion dollars.
Perhaps a Jedi would have done a better job of convincing him?
"We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it," he said in an official response to the petition. "The Administration does not support blowing up planets. Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?"
He also pointed out that space is no longer just government-only territory. "Private American companies, through NASA's Commercial Crew and Cargo Program Office (C3PO), are ferrying cargo -- and soon, crew -- to space for NASA, and are pursuing human missions to the Moon this decade," he added.
Of course, it would take 833,000 years before the project could even be ready for construction due to the rate of steel production, so that's a major setback in itself. American's will just have to suffice with the football field-sized International Space Station that's currently in orbit.
Still, despite the White House rejection and inarguable evidence, supporters of the proposed Death Star have taken their empire of followers to Kickstarter, hoping to persuade loyal subjects into coughing up an incredible load of money. Except this time, there probably won't be a fatal design flaw that sends a couple of torpedoes straight into the main reactor core. As it stands now, the initial design is a mere circle.
According to the Kickstarter page, the project has a goal of over $30 million USD (£20,000,000) in funding (stretch goal is $850 quintillion) which would be used to create more detailed plans. The keep costs low, the entire project will use open source hardware and software. Surprisingly, there are already 796 backers who have supposedly "funded" nearly £175,000. With 52 days still to go, meeting the goal doesn't seem possible without holding some princess for ransom.
"The only risk is the power of the Force," the project states. "The main challenge is assuring Kickstarter that this is a joke and not a serious project. As proof, the goal has been set high enough to make successful funding almost impossible."
Darn. Oh well.
Besides, who needs a Death Star when we already have Mimas orbiting Saturn? That's probably why we haven't seen any real alien visitors – they're picked up on transmissions of Star Wars and know exactly what this supposed "moon" can do.