4. The View From The Tech Support Side

From Anonymous

I work for a US-based company that has contracts to support networking equipment from a company that will remain nameless. My company has a 13 minute call time limit that makes it very hard to support people's problems. After you reach the limit people start coming over to you telling you to get off the phone. The focus is not on actually solving the person's problem but "solution providing" which means it doesn't really matter if we fix the problem. We just want them to keep calling back again because we charge the company we do support for each time someone calls in for the free tech support we provide. While I don't know if this is how every tech support company does it, I'm sure we aren't the only one.

From Karl (written on his Motorola Q Pocket PC PDA, which is quite a feat)

I work for Verizon Wireless in the call center doing, *** dum dum dum ***, tech support. So I want to talk from the other side. I will admit I have worked tech support for some time and am different; for the most part I care. I just want to add some suggestions and thoughts from this side:

First off if I have never spoken to you before, I really don't know what your problem is, but if you are willing to give me the chance I am willing to understand and do my best to help. Yelling does not help. Neither do swearing, empty threats, or lewd remarks. Call sober, please. I believe it is harder to follow tech support instructions than to drive drunk. When you ask for a supervisor you will probably get the guy next to me and he is going to tell you the same thing. Yes it is usually your fault. Not mine. Don't blame me. Somebody would have to work at caring less than me. I really, really don't want to hear your sob story, and sharing it with me makes me want to help you less. Enunciate! How am I supposed to understand your problems if I can't understand the words coming out of your mouth? I don't give a credit unless it was our mistake. So don't ask. In fact if you want I will find three reasons why we should charge you more. 5:30 - 7:30 PM are our busiest times because that is when everybody calls in. EXPECT long holds. Don't get mad about it. If you want short holds call during off peak hours. I am trained and not incompetent. Please don't call me that. AND, IF you take a moment and shut up I probably can explain it to you in a really plain and simple way that makes perfect sense. Just give me a chance!

A few of the most feared first phrases:

"I hope you can help me." Means I f***ed up something. It's all your fault and if I don't exactly what I want, how I want, expect a lot of yelling and me ending up calling you an imbecile and asking for your supervisor.

"I want a one time credit." Means, I ask for the same thing every month so I don't have to take responsibility for anything.

"I want to speak to your supervisor." Means, expect me to speak to you in a demeaning way and to use the worst possible language I can and to try to blame everything on you.