2. The Great Ipod Scam: Scratches And Cases

[Intro theme from Twilight Zone plays while we fade to Gerber in a typical Who Designed This Crap? fit.]

September 21, 2005: "I paid over $250 for this stinking Ipod Nano and the stupid thing got all scratched up in two days! Why in the name of Buddy Holly aren't cases available for these things when you buy them? Who designed this crap?"

That was my first encounter with a real plastic and silicon Ipod. I had a couple of MP3 players, but like so many I wanted to move into the stratospheric world of iconic Ipods. I bought a 4 GB Nano from J & R Music World last September shortly after the product hit the market. Within two days the icon's case was badly scratched. As with most Ipod/Itunes nightmares I wasn't alone in this one. The Web was full of complaints and alleged fixes. Most of the fixes, chock full of instructional photos, involved using a mild kitchen cleanser like Bon Ami to rub out the scratches and then gently storing the Nano in a plastic ziplock sandwich bag until cases were available.

I considered cleaning up the scratches and bagging my Nano. Then I thought "Wait a minute! Why am I even thinking of dumping cleanser on this expensive 'icon of twenty first century design?' and then throwing it in a sandwich bag." And, why has sweet Apple never apologized for its Baby Scratchy Nano or offered replacements or even a discount coupon for a case or some Itunes?

While I'm asking questions, how come it was several weeks before I was able to buy a case for my Nano from Apple and over three months before I could get one made by a third party vendor? I asked a number of Ipod case makers that question and they all gave me the same answer. "Apple releases the size specs for a new Ipod the same day it announces the product. After that it takes us about to three months to produce a shipping product."

Three months! I mean I'm all for Jobs getting his jollies introducing a new and secret product, but can't Apple get a case to market simultaneously with the release of one of its "icons of twenty first century design"? And, what about all those third party vendors, how much thunder and lightening are they going to steal from Mr. Apple's new product announcements if they know they have to produce a case of a certain size (3.5 x 1.6 x .27 inches; 8.9 x 4.1 x .69 cm for the Nano)? Most stretchy silicon Ipod cases fit over the whole unit, so a third party vendor wouldn't even need to know where the controls will be located to make a serviceable case. But, even if a vendor wanted the controls layout to make a case like the waterproof one from Otterbox in the photo below, would the world come to an end if that vendor knew where and how big the control wheel would be?

Trust me. There is an Ipod somewhere in this picture. Is it Otterbox's case for Nanos? Does it really matter, at least to us males?

Before I close this section I need to talk about one reason other than Job's ego that Apple might be withholding case design information from third party vendors. If third parties don't have this information until product release, that gives Apple time to get its cases out at least a little earlier and make a killing selling them. "Is that too cynical a view?" he said, a slight smile playing across his lips.