Why Santa Claus needs a VPN and so do you

Father Christmas - an old man with white hair and a long white beard wearing a red fur-trimmed hat and coat and circular glasses - holds his glasses and opens his mouth in a shocked expression
(Image credit: Unsplash/Kraken Images)

Everyone’s waiting on The Man With The Bag, but Santa Claus might want a little more privacy than is usually allowed for him this time of year.

A virtual private network (VPN), works by masking your internet connection, hiding your IP address, location, and browsing history, offering an added layer of protection while also allowing users to access sites that may be blocked. Additionally, if the VPN provider has servers in multiple different countries, this allows users to spoof their location to any of these servers, allowing them to unlock content from that country. This includes geo-locked content like news articles or streaming services.

You might be wondering what appeal a VPN would hold for Saint Nick, but read on to discover why Santa Claus needs a VPN—and so do you!

To hide his location

He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake, but Jolly Old Saint Nick might not want the same treatment. With NORAD tracking Santa every year, he should really hide his location using the IP-masking features of a VPN. Once the VPN is in use, Santa Claus and his browsing history will remain completely untraceable.

Additionally, if Father Christmas feels like playing a trick on NORAD or any other people attempting to track him, he can spoof his location to wherever his VPN provider has a server, allowing him to virtually hop across the globe in a matter of seconds—almost as quickly as he travels in real life!

For us non-magical beings, these features can be used to hide your location and browsing habits, keeping you firmly off the naughty list for another year. With the encryption offered by a VPN, not even the government can see your internet traffic.

Increasing internet speed

Researchers at the University of Leicester worked out that Santa Claus would have to travel at 1.56 x 106 meters per second, or about 0.5% the speed of light in order to bring presents to everyone on the nice list on Christmas Eve. As a man who knows the true meaning of spread, surely he’d want his internet speeds to match.

While a VPN may not necessarily help boost his internet connection speeds quite this much, VPNs can help in this area, allowing him to carry on surfing the web at a speed he’s more accustomed to. VPNs do this by circumventing throttling by internet service providers, meaning that both you and Santa Claus can enjoy quick, uninterrupted internet connections.

For better downtime in the sleigh

While Christmas Eve is the biggest day for Father Christmas, even he deserves to take a break while traveling between countries. However, if he wants to stream his favorite movies or TV shows, he’s going to need a VPN to do so!

Since Santa is traveling across the world, he’ll need one with a large amount of servers in many different countries to allow him to access the catalog of the streaming service he wants, in the country he wants to watch it in.

Luckily for him, many VPN providers offer a great range of servers in many different countries, allowing him to watch whatever content he wishes.

To protect his sleigh from Grinches

Just because Father Christmas is out to spread joy, doesn’t mean that everyone is. For those firmly on the naughty list, Christmas is a time for trying to take advantage of others.

If Santa Claus' device gets infected with malware, who knows the impact it will have on Christmas! Luckily, while VPNs themselves do not protect against malicious software, many VPNs offer antivirus or antimalware in addition to their VPN services. By choosing a VPN with these features, Father Christmas can stop hackers from stealing Christmas—or his data!

The best VPN in 2024

Now that I’ve laid out why Santa needs a VPN, it’s time to give him some recommendations. Below are my top three VPNs and what makes them a good choice for both you and Father Christmas.

1. ExpressVPN: the best all-round VPN 

1. ExpressVPN: the best all-round VPN 

ExpressVPN has come out on top in our VPN tests thanks to its skillful balance of excellent privacy and cyber security features with ease of use. ExpressVPN is also superior at unblocking content.

Not only that, but it also has a 30-day money-back guarantee, meaning you can try out the service. Tom’s Guide readers can also get three months of free coverage from ExpressVPN, as well as a free year of backup service from Backblaze.

2. NordVPN: a super-fast VPN with added security

2. NordVPN: a super-fast VPN with added security

If cyber security tools are what you’re after, look no further than NordVPN. It offers an adblocker and malware protection, as well as boasting a fast and secure VPN.

At $2.99 per month, NordVPN is a slightly more affordable option than ExpressVPN, while also offering the same 30-day money-back guarantee.

3. Surfshark VPN: a great VPN for a low price

3. Surfshark VPN: a great VPN for a low price

If you’re more budget-conscious, Surfshark VPN is a great choice. With fast, private connections and servers in 100 countries allowing you to stream uninterrupted content from all of them, this VPN is a great day-to-day option.

At only $1.99 per month, plus three months free, this VPN offers a real bang for its buck.

Olivia Powell
Tech Software Commissioning Editor

Olivia joined Tom's Guide in October 2023 as part of the core Future Tech Software team, and is the Commissioning Editor for Tech Software. With a background in cybersecurity, Olivia stays up-to-date with all things cyber and creates content across TechRadar Pro, TechRadar and Tom’s Guide. She is particularly interested in threat intelligence, detection and response, data security, fraud prevention and the ever-evolving threat landscape.