"Hey Siri, set a ten-minute timer," I bark, as my pot of pasta reaches the boil.
"Hey Siri, set a timer for half an hour," I shout over the extraction fan as I slide a tray of cookies into the oven. I don't think anyone in our family could live without a smart speaker of some kind in the kitchen anymore, even if it doesn't act as a music player anymore now that we've shifted away from Apple Music.
But, unfortunately, the HomePod mini that's served me faithfully is in trouble. It's been in a wet, hot, noisy environment for too long, and it's on the way out. My poor kitchen HomePod is becoming hard of hearing, and disobedient as it gets commands wrong or even downright ignores them.
So what am I going to put in its place? We're not really a solely Apple home anymore, as I've ditched my iPhone for the superior audio chops of an Android handset. Siri no longer dominates our lives — so where should I go next for our kitchen audio fix? I've got a couple of the best smart speaker options in mind.
The criteria
My new kitchen smart speaker needs to fulfill a couple of important criteria. There needs to be at least decent sound, so that I don't have to cart a Bluetooth speaker into the kitchen when I want to cook a roast dinner.
It also needs to support some form of smart assistant, but it doesn't need to be particularly smart. I'm not going to ask it for life advice, but I will ask it to manage a couple of timers and requests like "please play Between The Flesh And The Void by Deicide."
It should be relatively compact, because the kitchen isn't massive. A battery would be a nice extra this time around, but I also understand that's going to be trickier. So — who's made it to the shortlist?
Google Home Mini
Google's smart speaker lineup has been on my radar for some time. They're all very reasonably priced, and, by virtue of the company that makes them, they keep getting updated to support the latest Google Home features. The smallest of the bunch, the Google Home mini has been at the top of the list for HomePod mini replacements — and I'll tell you for why.
It's around the same size as the smart speaker it will be replacing, and features much the same in regards to voice control. I would be able to ask the speaker for timers while I cook something, and even ask it to play music from Tidal if I link my accounts.
There are some unknown quantities that put me off, however. I'm actually yet to listen to a Google Home mini (I know, I know — not great for an audio editor), so I'm not sure if I'm going to like the sound when I get it. I'm also not entirely sure about the way that it looks.
At the moment, however, it's very much still in the running for kitchen addition.
Another HomePod
The next logical step, given my family and their waning-but-still-present loyalty to the Apple brand, would be to pick up another HomePod — that could be the HomePod 2, or a new HomePod mini. There's part of me that wants to, given that my mom is finally used to using "Hey, Siri" commands and that they're easily some of the best-looking smart speakers around, but I do have my reservations.
Nobody in the house uses Apple Music anymore — we've all switched to Tidal or Qobuz — so we wouldn't be able to use Siri to choose music. I've also learned after the current HomePod that their fabric surfaces don't do well when surrounded by a kitchen environment. Our white HomePod looks horrible.
Yet I cannot deny the convenience of Apple's HomePod — so it stays on the list for now.
A Sonos option
I like Sonos' smart speakers. They are incredibly easy to use, they generally sound pretty good, and they often feature solid battery life if they're portable. I use a Sonos Move 2 every day in my bedroom, so what would be the harm in packing one into the kitchen for timer and tunage duties?
The sound would be far superior to the other options, be that the smaller Sonos Roam, a less expensive and non-portable Sonos Era 100, or the larger and portable Move 2. The integration into my Roon whole-home audio system would be a game changer, and it would look good sitting on my countertops.
But, there would be some downsides. Nothing that Sonos makes is cheap, often being more expensive than even the Apple alternative, let alone the Google Home Mini. They tend not to be quite as durable either, and I'd be concerned that a rogue wooden spoon could cause issues.
Yet I do find their sound to be tantalizing enough that they might be worth putting in my kitchen, so on the list they stay.
A Bluetooth speaker
If I were going for convenience and portability above all else, then a Bose SoundLink Max or similar Bluetooth speaker might be just the ticket. Thanks to built-in batteries, I'd be able to move them around the kitchen should I need to, and they often have more rugged builds so that they can last a bit longer.
Some would even support voice control when connected to a compatible device — it might mean calling out to Gemini, but there's a good chance I'd still be able to make new timers so that I don't burn my fresh batch of bakewell tarts.
But there would be some issues. The Bluetooth speakers that would fit the bill are all a bit more expensive, and they'd lack the WiFi connection that would make them smart. They'd have to be turned on and off, whereas the other options on the list live in permanent standby, awaiting my command.
A Bluetooth speaker might not be the perfect alternative, but there are some good reasons that one might replace my stricken HomePod.
So which will it be?
At the moment, I'm veering towards another HomePod alike — most likely the Google Home mini. Sound quality is not the utmost importance in the kitchen, and its smart features seem like the most useful thing to me and my family.
But I can't help but be tempted by the alternatives. Maybe I'll end up putting speakers in the ceiling, and relying on a more integrated setup. Although that would likely cost the earth. Still, one can dream...
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