Happy Hour 'Virus' Makes Computer Only Look Broken

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The Happy Hour Virus won't fool the tech-savvy, but if you're lucky, you may be able to use it to knock off work a bit early.

Ever wish you could fool your boss into thinking your workplace computer had been infected by malware?

Now you can. The Happy Hour Virus won't fool the tech-savvy, but if you're very, very lucky, you may be able to use it to knock off work a bit early.

The handy bit of "malware" comes courtesy of TDA_Boulder, a Boulder, Colo.-based ad agency with a clever (albeit not-that-likely-to-work) method of maintaining a work-life balance. The Happy Hour Virus is a website that takes over your computer's screen to make the computer appear, to an untrained eye, completely unusable.

The instructions are as follows: Get the word of your imminent departure out via Facebook or Twitter, choose how devastated you want your computer to look and get out of Dodge.

"Make frustrated sigh," advises the Happy Hour Virus website. "Exit building."

MORE: 7 Computer-Security Fixes to Make Right Now

In terms of "bricking" your system, you have one of three options: Kernel Panic, Broken Monitor and the infamous Windows Blue Screen of Death.

Kernel Panic is the simplest of the three, but also the most likely to backfire. It displays a Power symbol with text reading, "You need to restart your computer. Hold down the Power button for several seconds or press the Restart button" overlaid on it. The warning also appears in French, German and Polish.

While such an image is also a warning sign of a busted kernel (the deepest part of an operating system), it's extremely easy to repair: Simply following its instructions would leave your computer in pristine shape once again.

A little more convincing is the Broken Monitor. This displays a constantly changing mess of squiggly black-and-white static and colored zigzags, making it seem as though a monitor is completely wrecked. Of course, any tech-savvy manager would simply hook the computer up to a different monitor.

If all else fails, you can try the old standby, the Blue Screen of Death. This displays a blue screen with a mess of white text, including "DRIVER_IRQL_NOT_LESS_EQUAL" and a Dump HEX sequence. While the animation is convincing, the font is not quite right.

These gags could theoretically work on an employer who's absolutely clueless about computers, but the odds are against it. For one thing, the old standby of turning the computer off and on again would work just fine in any of the three cases. Pressing Escape will also end the prank.

To be clear, it's unlikely that TDA_Boulder actually wants anyone to try to fool their bosses using these techniques. The Happy Hour Virus is mostly just a clever way to promote the fact that the company is hiring, and are seeking people who want to balance productivity with a healthy social life.

If you're really dying to get out of work early, you could give it a shot, but don't be surprised when your boss reboots your system and seems very satisfied with him or herself for fixing such a complicated technological problem.

Follow Marshall Honorof @marshallhonorofand on Google+. Follow us @tomsguide, on Facebook and on Google+.

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Marshall Honorof
Marshall Honorof

Marshall Honorof was a senior editor for Tom's Guide, overseeing the site's coverage of gaming hardware and software. He comes from a science writing background, having studied paleomammalogy, biological anthropology, and the history of science and technology. After hours, you can find him practicing taekwondo or doing deep dives on classic sci-fi.

16 Comments Comment from the forums
  • infamouswoodster
    Hmm, I guess My windows 98/ME/2000/XP/Vista/7 all came with this screen saver pre-installed ?
    Reply
  • gmarsack
    If you want to get out of work early, you could just open up a command window with Admin rights and delete your system folder. DONE! Enjoy the rest of the day off while IT deals with it.
    Reply
  • spartanmk2
    If youre IT is dumb enough to let you have Admin rights then they deserve to deal with it.
    Reply
  • cklaubur
    I have a screen saver on my laptop that simulates, among other errors, a Windows NT style bluescreen. It looks pretty realistic.

    Casey
    Reply
  • wysiwygbill
    It's more fun to swap out someone else's screen saver so that a fake BSOD pops up after 10 minutes of inactivity.
    Reply
  • coolitic
    Crack the code and you get HL3 release date.
    Reply
  • danwat1234
    I remember the sysinternals bsod screensaver from back in 2002 or so, so this is now in website form?
    Reply
  • danwat1234
    Wait, that website is stupid.
    Reply
  • lp231
    Meh not as cool as the Troika's 'Newton Virus'
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBJQ5085kSo
    Reply
  • husker
    Great job Toms. Virus or not this will get you fired in an instant. What will you advise your readers to do next? Yell "Bomb!" on an airplane? You see, it doesn't really matter if there really is a bomb.
    Reply