My review of "The Happening" for every1 suffering frm post GTsuX stres

I know everyone including me is mighty p!ssed and depressed with the GTsuX 280's scores .... well i had a worse day than any of y'all ...for i had to endure 90 mins of this atrocious new movie after knowing about GTsuX... so here's my review to cheer up and bring a smile

http://www.tomshardware.com/forum/ [...] eview#t563

Cheers!

certainly its something to waste our time on!lol

http://www.tomshardware.co.uk/foru [...] ard-people

seen it?lol

Wow ... good things are certainly 'not happening' ... (haha get the pun? u geddit? haha........ ... - nono i do not have a lame sense of humor, that's how the humor in the movie is...) for Night Shyamalan.

There's something smelling nasty in the air....no i'm not talking about the PLOT of the movie, i'm talking about the movie itself.

Agreed the movie wasn't as bad as the misbegotten Lady in the water .... well that was primarily because Shyamalan was all over the news for rejecting Indy4 and Harry potter 4 by saying he deserves better projects and that he'd pen his own fairy/magic tale ..... the bloke didn't learn even after Disney called it rubbish and threw the script in the can and him out of their building... ... what resulted was a different studio (Warner), total bull of a screenplay with extremely unconvincing characters, bad CGI and his own horse knocking him down.

But then Shayamalan is a master of finding the genius in an actor ... look what he found in Bruce Willis, we can actually understand what he speaks now .... and sample Mel Gibson in Signs..brilliance. And Lady in the water did have some excellent acting from Paul Giamatti ..... The Happening not only had horrendous acting from Mark Wahlberg but also a carnal sin of underplaying John Leguizamo ... and overplaying lost and terribly miscast Zooey Deshanel

What The Happening had was a really strong beginning. I would place the start of the movie on number two, next to Signs. Just like in Signs, the music by James Newton Howard quite frankly effectively sends chills... it wasn't as shockingly scary as in Signs but it still had a quiet sense of melancholy unsettling. The shot of the girl stabbing her own neck with that music playing was horrifyingly and tastefully scary. Full points for the start.

And thats all....................apart from the start the remainder of this poor movie had squat.

The intro of Mark Wahlberg with his eyebrows up to his hairline begins revelation of the script's true form.... its bludgeoning stupidity. Mark walks through the movie like he's had one too many chillies for breakfast and things are 'happening' in his stomach. I was beginning to wonder if its his farting thats making people kill themselves. But no, the script isn't as smart as that. Shyamalan sticks to his overused formula of something happening in Philly and his native Pennsylvania...only this time i was tired of seeing the same names over and over and over and over again. Mark even tries to be funny in the movie when the school principal walks into his classrom and he pretends to be scared of her calling her the Dark Lord. Intended comedy is a strict no-no, Marky. His over the top eye movements and inexplicably inept dialogue delivery, especially at the train station when he asks 'whats going on' is downright laughable. Hard to believe its the same guy who got a well deserved academy award nomination for The Departed.

But then i thought all that surely must be Shyalamalan's doing...my doubt was confirmed when i saw an excruciatingly amateur handling of a situation of Leguizamo leaving Mark and Co to search for his wife. And sadly, things only went downhill later ... the audience is expected to get scared by a little wind rocking the trees in broad daylight. But even at that point I still supported Shyamalan thinking the esteemed director didn't want to use the cliched CGI trickery and darkness and lightening to create an atmosphere of manufactured horror. Unfortunately even that hope was blown to bits when Shyamalan introduces a strange old woman living alone in an apparently creepy house in the middle of nowhere. Not only that but he resorts to preteen horror movie method (the doll on the bed and suddenly the old hag screaming). How stupid does he think the audience is?

And if all that wasn't corny enough Shyamalan brings forth the LAMEST HAMMIEST most laughably ridiculous climax in a movie .... Mark Wahlberg stepping out of the house in a laugh out loud corny slow mo shot to die with his wife and niece. To top it all the same eerie music plays..only this time its effect is shot to screwball.

Anyhow Marky Mark and his wifey don't die (though they should've, for acting so bad for 90 mins after we paid to watch them. Zooey Deschanel's unwaxed facial and limb hair didn't help matters either.)

There was much talk about Shyamalan and his twist endings. The director made sure he made a big fuss about how he's not that sort of a director and how he can produce a varied range of stories and not just twist endings and that the audience will really appreciate the ending in this movie which is NOT a twist. ................. Well he was lying..because there IS a twist in this movie. A twist that far outperforms and outshocks the twist of Sixth Sense. It is this... Zooey Deshanel who had a hard time getting pregnant with Calvin Klein underwear model Mark Wahlberg gets knocked up by some invisible toxic wind in the trees.

Her kid later grows up and goes to France... and when he farts, the same fatal toxin releases and kills people.

I expected a roaring comeback from Shyamalan with this movie.. especially with the R rating and a very original and eerie premise... it wasn't to be. I really hope this phase of his lasts only as long as Spielberg was out of form between 1941 and Always. For Shyamalan is a young filmaker with obvious prodigious talent. All he needs to do is get off his ego so that he can get back to what he does best ... drawing up marvelous scripts, directing his actors like they're all academy award contenders and using a camera in a boldly beautiful fashion ...all of which were absent in his previous two efforts.