Why do funny stories about tech support abound? Maybe computers themselves are funny. Or maybe we need to laugh to keep from crying.

Customer reports his 300watt Battery backup unit is buzzing. I go over and see that he has daisy-chained 3 power strips and plugged them into the APC unit. Included were
PC
2 LCD monitors
150watt speaker system
PocketPC
Laser printer
Laptop
Router
DSL phone
Small radio.

He said it has been buzzing for a week now, but hasnt had time to deal with the problem.

NO KIDDING?

AND WTF with the random placement of this topic. This must be an ongoing internal joke of some sort... cause nobody is that misguided.

We all know this should be here in the Mobile Phone subforum!!!!!

Come ON!!!!



Ah, the IBM system 50. Got the 50Z here my freshman year in college. I tried going a semester w/o and it was a PITA to walk cross campus to use their system 30's to do cad, and the other lab was usually cramped and full (also, no late-night available).

Thing cost over $3000 and was out at about the time the 386 came out (At $4500!!!). I remember running Wing Commander on it at the lowes resolution this side of Atari. The cut-scene for jumping in the craft took 30 seconds to load and 60 seconds to play!!! (1fps!!!!). The monitor was a good space heater, and the 256 colors made games like the 16 color "Vette" so realistic you could almost count the facets!!!



As for tech support, some of the funniest is when you get people that are 100% unfamiliar with the computer. You try to teach them how to use a mouse and they can't use it w/o looking at the mouse, then the screen, then the mouse... You try to tell them how to use a printer, and they forget to remove all the wrapping and papaer/plastic seperators in it (as the instructions call for) and wonder why it does not work.

Ah well, what are you going to do? Besides MOVE THIS THREAD TO SOMEWHERE IT MAKES MORE SENSE!!!

my 2 cents...

I had a friend at a local tech support. A woman comes and says to him: "Hello, I've bought that pc from your store about a year ago and bla bla, my problem is that the coffee holder is broken?!?!" After thinking about a minute, the answer was obvious: she meant the cd-rw drive!!!

That make me lol all week.

Those are OOOOOOLD comix there bud!

I think they were in my school newspaper back in 90!!!!!

If customer X requests Mousing lessons....
I reply:



Dear customer X, you are not qualifed to use a computer at this time. Please purchase a slide rule and graph paper and be on your way. If you wish to learn how to use a Mouse that badly, please read my book on fluid dynamics.

Customers can be "stupid". Tech support can be even "stupider".


Recently I have had problems with the content on my home page not being updated.

The ISP's Tech support has concluded their servers are not being update properly, and have asked me to notify them (Tech Support) should the problem re-occurs.


Then one day the content on the home page is dated for the NEXT calendar day, while the news and sports feeds are from 3 days prior.

Refreshing the webpage resulted in updated news and sports feeds, while the date would remain on the future date.

Refreshing the webpage again would result in the old news and sports feeds and the future date.


So I call Tech Support to report the problem.

English is her first language. So communicating should be no problem.

I run through the problem.

Then it is Tech Support's time to try and "solve the problem" with my computer.

Tech Support: Have you cleared your browser history?

Me: History is what has happened, the date is tommorrow's date. My computer shows today's date. The date feed is from your server.

Tech Support: I understand. When you refresh the page do you get tomorrow's sports and news reports?

Me: Gosh darn, if I was getting tommorrow's sports scores I would have not reported the problem, instead I would have called my bookie and made some bets.

Tech Support: I don't understand.

Me: How can I receive the score to a game that has yet to be played?

Tech Support: I don't understand.

Me: Just report the problem to your supervisor. Hopefully he/she can explain time travel to you better than I can.

I'm surprised no one told of the
CD-ROM cup-holder. - minim3 got it.
"I don't know if it's running windows, but it's near a window"
"I just stapled the 5 1/4" floppy to the documents"
"These disks arn't really magnetic"

1990 isn't that long ago.

im a tech and i use my cdrom as a cup holder.... if it works why not? lol.
Thats kinda old in the computer world.



Again, why are the editors incapable of navigating their own forums ???

Yes... and plus these ones on 5 1/4 floppy disks:

1) A guy calls for assistance saying that the 5 1/4" floppy drive on his new computer is broken because it didn't eject the floppy discs properly and he already had spent lots of money on floppy discs (much more expensive in those days!). So the technician goes see the PC and ask the guy to try one more floppy disk. The guy was introducing the diskette not on the drive entry but on a small entrance between the drive and the box chassis and filled the interior with plenty of diskettes!!

2) A guy calls assistance to resolve a problem with a 5 1/4" floppy drive (which, if you do remember, most had a locker handle to lock the disk to be read and this was called to "close the door" ). The operator aks the guy if he "closed the door", the guy says on the phone "no, just one moment", BLAAM!, "ok. i already closed my door and now my room is closed. Can you start resolving my drive problem now?". :-)

Another good one i remember:
A guy calls assistance because of his new "foot-pedal" was hard to control. The operator asks him what is a "foot-pedal". The guy explains that was a new equipment with 2 buttons and a small ball below but it was hard to control.......

I have used a mouse as a foot pedel. It works well actualy (optical) and great for that extra advantage in games.

Great stories. The "Do I need a stamp to send e-mail" is such a great question. The "cup-holder" reference is probably the oldest and most popular "computer ignorance" joke of all time.

When I played techie, I had a LOT of stories that inspired tears more than laughter.

The best was that we were using a (logging) proxy server, back when people didn't realize that their internet access / e-mail at work was monitored. I had the craziest dirt on everyone in the company. I'd sit there for hours just reading people's e-mails.

Really? Cause im still reading your emails... o.0




And PLEASE FOR THE SAKE OF ALL THAT IS TECHY AND GOOD....

BRING BACK OUR FAITH IN THG AND PROVE YOUR SKILLZ


-------> MOVE THIS THREAD