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WHO IS JACK SCHITT?

The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response
when someone says; "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you can intellectually
handle the situation.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had
one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply
religious couple produced six children: Holy Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva
Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. But after
being married for 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later
remarried Ted Sherlock and because her kids were living with them, she
wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe
Schitt-Sherlock. Against her parent's objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb
Schitt, the high school dropout. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt
and they produced a son with a nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt. Two of
the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable
throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual
ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the
Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd and
Hoarse Schitt. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.
He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. So
now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct him or
her.

Family History Recorded by Crock O. Schitt